Corona Core 27th Ed.

Ketamine Kore (27th Edition)

Hey, bitches. It’s Ketamine. You should know me. I’m that f**ked up woman from the series, “Insanity Archives”. That’s me. Corona won’t be here for the next two months. That’s right. She’s going to be on vacation, probably getting f**ked up by some other men. Hey, I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. Personally, that’s my kind of vacation too. Lulz. I’m talking too much. Anyway, let’s get on with the reviews. Oh wait, before I do, I would like to introduce my good friend Amphetamine. She is going to be providing the commentary in place of that bitch Morgan.

The government shut down. That’s amusing. The fact that those prissy-ass white guys couldn’t get what they wanted is amusing to me. Those are the type of people we f**k up in the Mistress Asylum. It’s unfortunate that such a large number of people don’t have any brighter idea than quitting (Takes a lot of faggots to f**k up the system.)
Personally, it’s whole-heartedly the Republicans fault. This kind of bulls**t shouldn’t come as a surprise to them. Obama’s a Democrat, and the Senate is majority Democrats. Why the hell would you pass a bill you know is gonna get shot down? (Because f**k you, that’s why). I know it’s wrong to categorize all the Republicans as the losers, but let’s face it. They lost two presidential elections in a row now. Surely you could all learn from your mistakes now, right? (Can’t teach old dogs new tricks).

A lot of you are probably gonna do something wild and crazy this Halloween. I for one am going to go f**k everyone in the asylum with Amphetamine (Because we bitch-ass hoes). Anyway, a lot of you other p***ies are gonna be throwing your own parties. Let me tell you how to throw the bomb-ass party of the year, but not make it gay and s***ty like Project X and those other movies (Which are indeed gay and s***ty).
Costumes: To throw a bomb-ass Halloween party, you’ll need a bomb-ass costume. And this must be a costume party, because if it isn’t, you could’ve thrown this in the middle of the goddamn year (F**king morons). Wear the sluttiest, raunchiest, dirtiest, sexiest costume you can. It’s the only way to show off what you’ve got (or don’t got).
Food: All parties have food, bitches. And when you have a Halloween party, you need Halloween-themed food, namely candy (or candy corn). Everything must be sweet. Hell, even the f**king corn is made of candy. Get a big bowl of chocolates, crunchies, and anything else you may think they would like (a good bag of weed usually works).
Entertainment: Get some party stuff going. Play music, play games, do something to entertain the suckers that show up. Let’s look at the facts. If I showed up to your party (Which we probably will), I don’t wanna be sitting around talking to a bunch of assholes holding red cups all night. I can do that s**t at home (or in my dreams).
Night: The party has to be at night, dude. Pretty self-explanatory (Every motherf**ker in the goddamn universe knows that.)
Friends: You need people to be at the party. A one-man party is basically an everyday event. Get some people in that party. Girls usually f**k your s**t up, and guys just steal your s**t. (They literally reach into the toilet, and steal your s**t). Bring some friends, and bring as many people as you can (Neighbors, strangers, rapists…whatever).

Pokémon X and Pokémon Y came out. Wow, I don’t give a f**k, but Corona’s list of things-to-do says I should talk about the release. Well, I’ll make this nerd topic as funny as f**k (Because f**ks are funny). So, it gives Nintendo a huge-ass profit on their 3DS s**t, just like Monster Hunter 4 and Animal Crossing: New Leaf. Plus, it stomps f**king Vita into the dust (Sony sucks).
Apparently, there aren’t that many new Pokémon this time around. Good. I’m tired of counting all those little motherf**kers (Every time I “catch them all”, they invent new ones). Personally, they should make stronger versions of the ones that already exist…what’s that? They did? Huh, well then. Looks like Nintendo did something right there for a change (I can finally get a stronger than f**k Charizard, who will kick some major ass). Too bad my favorite Pokémon of all time, Breloom, didn’t get Mega-sized. By the way, he’s my favorite because he’s a f**king shroom (drug addict alert).

“Let me tell you how little [George W. Bush] doesn’t give a f**k about you. If you were hanging off a cliff, and all you needed to save your ass was a f**k. And let’s say Bush was at the top of the cliff, and he had a pocket full of f**ks…he wouldn’t give you one. You’d be like ‘Bush, I need a f**k!’, and he’d be all, ‘Oh, you know I don’t give a f**k’.”
-Chris Rock

Apparently, Corona scheduled to do a rap song this edition with some other hero. That’s fantastic, but she ain’t here. Luckily, she recorded her stupid-ass song beforehand (Smart Spanish girl.) Anyway, here’s the rap between Corona and the star of Desert Chronicles, Voltage.

Corona: Come fight me, scorpion. If you’ve got game
Skin or no skin, you all look the same.
Your series mimics your fighting style…they both suck
Let me give you water with a f**king fire truck
You’re made of bones, but not made of brains
Unfortunate when you realize I’m making it rain
You’re just another challenger who’s lost without words
Watch out before I strike you where it hurts.

Voltage: Tough words, Corona. But I can't be beat
An Elite Scorp is strong and always on their feet
Gotta stay alert and keep our minds sharp
Something you can’t do when you L.A.R.P.
I’ve taken down warlords and terrorists alike
While you just sit and type of words like a d**e.
I’ve been trained to handle all situations, just try me.
I’ll ask only once: you and what army?

Corona: What army you ask? How about my fans!
They’ll crush yours with pots and pans
What are you gonna do? Give me sand?
Or are you gonna play music in your little band?
You’re a general, so you’ve tasted victory
But you’re not going through this without me
I’ve interviewed you, I know your stuff
Stop trying to act so mighty and buff

Voltage: I can honestly say that’s not what I’m doing
I’m acting normal. It’s you who’s losing
I’m a married scorpion. Are you?
Doesn’t look like it, for it requires two.
While you’re gaming and having fun
Us Elite Scorps are fighting and getting the job done
We don’t tolerate this immature nature
Not my niece, not my admiral, not my captain, not my major

Corona: That’s sweet to know I’m not like you
I win my wars, which means I don’t lose
It’s impossible to determine if you’re smart or not
Obviously not if you let your skin rot
You’re tough as steel, but you’re just a dumb bitch
I’ve got scars to prove my strength, just look at this stitch
You’ve lost some brave fighters who died for your cause
Unfortunately, it still equates to me as a loss
You can play trombone, but that’s about it
The rest of you is a bunch of s**t
I can’t say any more how much better I am
I win, I win. That’s the plan.

Elite Scorps: Assemble all! We’ve got a new enemy to fight.
One that’s much weaker and prone to flight.
Robin: Fear not Auntie, I’ll protect you from harm
I’ll attack her without breaking my arm.
Firebolt: I’ve taken down helicopters in the blink of an eye.
I’ll stab her and make her cry.
Aegis: Don’t you talk trash about her. Voltage is my wife.
You harm and I swear I will end your life.
Mecha: This one sure chats a lot. It could be a sign
Usually bitches stop talking when they’ve crossed the line
Sundown: She’s a dumb one, medically speaking
Talks like a boss, yet we can see her leaking
Monitor: I’ll beat her ass. Get out of my way.
This is a blast-zone radius. Make my day.
Hailstorm: I wanna have a go. Let me use my guns
With the power of a million blazing suns
Deviance: Don’t mess with the Elite Scorps Milita, you hear?
Or we’ll Van Gogh your ass, but take way more than an ear…

So, who won do you think? Lulz, Corona got her ass handed to her (literally, she bent over and let the Elite Scorps f**k her up).

“So, Ketamine. What is your opinion on weed?”
“Weed today, weed tomorrow, weed forever!”
-Ketamine

Today’s “No Bra Day” to celebrate breast cancer awareness day. F**king s**t, that’s what I’m talking about. I can finally walk around and put my pills in my pockets instead of storing them in my bra (like a normal-ass person). I have a feeling guys at the asylum will be all over me for this event. Anyway, this notion is supposed to celebrate breast cancer awareness, but I think it’s really just so women can breathe for one day in their life (well, the ones that HAVE boobs anyway…)

Next on “Insult Institution”, I take a look at the f**king drugees. You know, the ones that kill themselves with all the drugs. No, I’m not talking about all drugees, because I classify as one. I’m talking about the dumbasses who do it because they think it’s good for you. That s**t is so lame that it kills me (It gave her AIDS).
These guys always claim that it does wonders for you. I’m an avid drug user, and I can tell you right now that drugs f**k you up, yo! It messes with your mind and your ability to do things. That’s why I work at an asylum, because I’m so f**ked up (That’s not why). All the kids out there doing drugs because you think it’s cool…bravo! (What?)
Don’t let any medical facts fool you. People don’t do drugs because they’re good for you. You don’t see anyone taking a whole bunch of cough medicine everyday, do you? (Nope) Exactly. I keep some ketamine pills in my bra. Only the ones who frisk me can find them…hint hint (Stay away from this bitch, folks).

And to close off this show, I will be doing the “Hero Interview”. This month, I shall interview a vigilante, which is just a nickname for “criminal who acts like a hero”. Please welcome to Ketamine Kore the Pegasus, Ryne!
Ketamine: Welcome to the show, Ryne. It’s a pleasure to have you with us today.
Ryne: Pleasure to be on the show.
Ketamine: So, tell me about yourself. Do you do drugs? Do you have sex with all the bitches? Do you kill people for fun?
Ryne: Umm…no, no, and no. I’m a vigilante. My team of vigilantes protect the world of Olympia by beating up criminals. Justice prevails at the end of the day.
Ketamine: So, you got laid yet?
Ryne: What? No. Some of the members on my team might be active though.
Ketamine: Like who?
Ryne: Well, there’s my friend Essence, who’s a Succubus. She craves sex. Then there’s Lady Amazon, who looks pretty stunning…for an Amazon, anyway. Finally, there’s Medusa, who’s a seductive woman.
Ketamine: Yowza! Lulz. The bitches get horny at night!
Ryne: My series isn’t mature like yours is. It’s not intended for solely adults.
Ketamine: Whatever. Anyway, how do you expect your series to take off?
Ryne: *Shrugs* I don’t know honestly. I hope that at some point my series will be up there with the likes of No-name and Dazzle and Voltage. That’s a huge goal to set, but it’s something. At the very least, I would like to appear in the next T.O.O.N. story.
Ketamine: Mmhmm, yeah. All stars usually make their famed cameos in the awesome T.O.O.N. stories.
Ryne: Just a goal of mine I suppose. What about you? Is your story popular?”
Ketamine: I don’t really know, you know. It’s not as popular as “Puppet Horror” or “Red Riding Hood: Exposed”, but it’s alright, lulz.
Ryne: That’s good I guess. Why do you keep saying “Lulz”?
Ketamine: It’s my way of laughing. It’s funny.
Ryne: You’re weird. But I guess that’s a good thing.
Ketamine: It’s whatever man. Anyway, that’s all the f**king time we’ve got tonight, Ryne. I’ll see you later.
Ryne: Thanks. Bye.

That was Ryne. He’s a lot cooler than he looks. Anyway, Platinum Pegasus – Rise of Ryne premieres November 11. Keep your eye out for that.

That wraps up our October edition. I had a great time hosting the first ever show of Ketamine Kore. It was tons of fun to tell you the truth (Loads). I can’t wait until Corona calls me back so I can f**k up her show once again (Crazy bitch…)
Our monthly question comes to us from a girl named Sandy (In Bikini Bottom?) She asks:
What’s your favorite thing to do on the weekends?
F**KING DO DRUGS, SANDY! (Seriously) Anyway, leave your comments wherever the hell you guys do that. I’ll be doing goddamn drugs in the meantime.
Thanks for reading Ketamine Kore, bitches. Go f**k yourselves…or other people. It doesn’t really matter. I’m out (#Lulz)

Next Issue Sneak Peek
IT’S FINALLY HERE! Yaleia will be hosting next month’s edition of Corona Core. The star of “Life as a Princess” herself. How f**king awesome is that? (India > Mexico)